


existential crisis

by horizsan



Series: seongjoong roommate antics i guess [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, M/M, No Sexual Content, So here we are, a Method to his Madness if you will, again copious amounts of Adorable and Profanity, again inspired by a prompt, also this is unedited, and hongjoong is the one who won't shut up, and it worked, and unbetaed, but here's a warning just in case, but i have to go to sleep so i'll proofread in the morning or smthn, hongjoong has a Motive, hongjoong mentions suicide but it's in the context of a dumb question, i decided to write a sequel because i had a prompt, i don't think it's the kind of context that would need to be taken seriously, i just sat in silence for three minutes trying to think of more tags, i literally didn't even proofread it o h my god, oh oh oh okay, seonghwa!centric, this time seonghwa is the one trying to go to sleep, um idk, welcome back i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 08:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25347904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horizsan/pseuds/horizsan
Summary: Hongjoong keeps asking weird/strange existential (or otherwise way too deep for 1am) questions and Seonghwa just wants to go to sleep.[ Prompt from https://prompts.neocities.org/ ]
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: seongjoong roommate antics i guess [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835662
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	existential crisis

**Author's Note:**

> hi, it's me again. i couldn't resist turning this prompt into a sequel to the other one, i just Had To. i hope you like this one just as much as you liked the last one (if you've read the last one, which i don't think you need to do if you don't want to, i don't think you'd be confused if you only read this one, or read this one first, but if you're like me and have a compulsive need to read things in chronological order whether it's necessary or not, feel free to read the first one.)
> 
> WARNINGS: profanity, as always. also, hongjoong mentions suicide in the context of a dumb question, and i really am not sure if it being mentioned in that context needs a warning, but here it is, just in case. if either of those things make you uncomfortable, read with caution, or don't read at all, both are chill with me.
> 
> also, like i said last time, vote inception, for the comfort of black atinys first and foremost, along with the many other reasons that exist to vote inception. https://ateez.vote/i2Nh (i don't know how to do actual links on ao3 yet, so for now you'll just have to copy paste, i'm sorry.)
> 
> without further ado, happy reading! enjoy the product of my brain going "you wanna see some real speed?" an hour ago.

“Hey, Seonghwa?” Seonghwa internally groans. _Again? What the hell is it this time?_ Normally, he wouldn’t have such an adverse reaction to his roommate (and maybe something more, the lines that define what exactly they are have been a bit blurred since August) simply calling his name, but it’s currently one o’clock in the fucking morning, and Hongjoong has been asking questions for the past forty five minutes that are way too deep and require way more thinking than Seonghwa is capable of when he’s this tired, and Seonghwa is literally just trying to go to fucking sleep. He supposes this is adequate payback for that full week in August when he’d loudly sung _This Is Halloween_ from the _Nightmare Before Christmas_ soundtrack at 2am when Hongjoong was the one who was trying to sleep, but Seonghwa really fucking hates karma right about now. If Yeosang were in the room, he’d be laughing his ass off right now, pointing one of his stupid fingers at Seonghwa and cackling, “Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it?” Thankfully, Yeosang isn’t in the room. He’s in his own apartment, where he should be.

Seonghwa groans aloud, and mutters, “What the hell do you want now?”

“Do you think we live in a simulation? Like, what if you and I aren’t really real? What if we are real and we’re like hooked up to tubes in a room somewhere seeing the ‘world’,” Hongjoong holds up little air quotes with his fingers that Seonghwa can barely see in the dim light coming through the window, “like it’s virtual reality or something. What if I’m real and you’re not?” He gasps, and exclaims, “Oh my God, what if you’re real and _I’m_ not?” Hongjoong’s mouth is open in an almost perfect O shape, and his eyes are blown open wider than they were when Seonghwa informed him that, yes, there _are_ sharks that are small enough to be kept as pets (which Hongjoong had nearly cried over, pinching Seonghwa’s cheeks so fucking hard Seonghwa had thought he was going to start bleeding, on the verge of sobbing as he choked out, “Oh my God, that’s so _fucking_ cute!”).

Hongjoong’s jaw drops wider, and he gasps again, higher pitched this time, and honestly, if Seonghwa wasn’t aware of the very limited capacities of Hongjoong’s singing ability, he would suggest he start singing opera. He continues rambling, “Oh my God, what if we’re like NPCs in someone else’s simulation, and we’re like, self-aware, but not really? That’d be so fucking cool.” His face falls, bottom lip sliding forward into a pout, and he dejectedly mutters, “If we’re NPCs though, I’d rather be an NPC in a world like Animal Crossing, not the fucking GTA-esque one we’re in now.”

Seonghwa sits up in his bed, rubbing his hands up and down his face to wake himself up as much as possible. His voice is rough with sheer exhaustion and he’s only half-aware of what he’s even saying as he replies, “Hongjoong, you know I love you and the passion you have for the weirdest things, but seriously, you _gotta_ stop. I’m trying to fucking sleep, it’s 1am, and I have an 8am lecture tomorrow morning. Or today morning, technically. Whatever. Just, like, hush.” Seonghwa flops back down onto his pillows, yanking the blankets up and entirely over his head once his eyes fall closed again.

“I’m gonna choose to ignore the fact that you just said you loved me, because I’m not in any sort of state to think about that right now, so I’m just gonna breeze past that. Anyways, if there were a clone of you, do you think killing it would be considered suicide?”

Seonghwa groans, much louder this time, and replies, “Hongjoong, shut _up_. I’m too tired for this.” He really is. He wouldn’t particularly look forward to any lecture happening as early as 8am, but the fact that it’s Criminal Psychology really doesn’t get him too excited at all. He needs to be able to think for that class, and he’s almost never awake enough at a time so early for his brain to function at all beyond performing basic motor functions, let alone be able to form complex thoughts.

“Seonghwa, do you believe in fate? ‘Cause, like, I mean, if fate exists, then do we really have free will, or is everything already predetermined so that no matter what choices we make, things will always fall together the way the universe intends for them to?” Seonghwa can hear Hongjoong moving around (because dear God, he probably needs a new mattress, the springs creak when you breathe too deeply), and Seonghwa thinks he’s probably rolled onto his side to face Seonghwa and propped himself up on an elbow.

Seonghwa pokes his head out from under the blankets and opens his eyes to see that he was, indeed, correct. Hongjoong is laying in the exact position Seonghwa thought he had shifted into. Seonghwa mutters, “Bitches barely pass one philosophy class and think they know all the intricacies of the universe,” rolling his eyes in Hongjoong’s general direction.

Hongjoong sits up, and indignantly exclaims, “Hey! You and I are _both_ ‘bitches’ in that situation, so you can’t talk!” He settles back down to his propped-up position, and lowers his voice, saying, “But seriously, like if fate exists, am I really choosing to have this conversation with you or is the universe twisting my mind so that I think I want to say these exact words? Is your response to me already planned out, and we just don’t know it?”

Seonghwa is exasperated with him at this point. He sighs, and replies, “I don’t fucking know, Hongjoong, I’m just trying to sleep right now. Please, shut the _fuck_ up.”

Hongjoong mutters something in response that Seonghwa doesn’t hear, and he’s not sure if he didn’t hear it because Hongjoong didn’t intend for him to hear it, or because he just didn’t speak loud enough. Seonghwa mumbles, “What was that?”

Hongjoong clears his throat, and repeats himself, at an audible volume this time. “I was just saying all of that ‘cause I hoped you would kiss me to shut me up like I did for you with the Halloween song.”

Seonghwa sits up like he’s been electrocuted, and turns to face Hongjoong with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. A smile spreads across his face, and he says, “You know, if you wanted me to kiss you, you literally could have just asked.” He chuckles, the sound dancing through the air of the room like that of wind chimes. “You make things so much harder for yourself than they need to be, Joong.”

If it weren’t almost completely dark, Seonghwa would have been able to see the blush quickly rising on Hongjoong’s cheeks, but he can see enough of it for the sight to bring another smile to his face. “Oh. Um, okay,” Hongjoong sputters.

Seonghwa laughs again, and says, “Sorry for not taking the hint, I’m just not the type to kiss people to shut them up.”

“What would you have done to shut me up then?”

“If you weren’t who you are, I probably would’ve punched you in the mouth and knocked your teeth out.”

Hongjoong coughs loudly at that, the mild choking sounds phasing out into a laugh as he catches his breath. “Wow, extreme.”

“Do you still want me to kiss you, or do you, like, think I’m psycho now?”

Seonghwa can hear the impish smile in Hongjoong’s voice as he answers, “You’re a forensic criminology major, Seonghwa, I’ve always thought you were psycho.”

“Oh, shut _up_.”

“But, yeah, I do still want you to kiss me. Of course I do.”

Seonghwa doesn’t say anything in response, instead just rolling closer to Hongjoong, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, and pulling him in for the second kiss they’ve ever shared, soft and slow and sweet. It’s one o’clock in the morning, and Seonghwa is still tired, but he figures he’s stayed awake this long already, he can stay awake a little longer for the sake of a few kisses. So that’s exactly what he does.

Hongjoong pulls away, giggling, and in an over exaggerated valley girl accent, asks, “So, like, what are we?”, immediately degenerating into peels of way too loud laughter and rolling away from Seonghwa to cackle at maximum volume.

Seonghwa laughs too, in spite of himself, and once they both calm down to silence again, he whispers, “We can be whatever you want.”

“Psychos?”

“I mean, if that’s what you want...sure.”

“I’m kidding. How does ‘lovers’ sound?”

“That sounds disgustingly like something out of a really bad romance novel.” Seonghwa snorts, and makes his voice purposefully as deep and smooth as possible, and says, “Come here, lover,” before rolling over in another fit of loud laughter.

“I was joking, but I’m glad you got what I was going for. How does ‘boyfriends’ sound?”

“Are you being serious this time?”

“I- Yes. What would be the joke in that?”

“I don’t know, that one Big Time Rush song or whoever the fuck sings it.”

“Seonghwa, what the _fuck_ goes through your head?”

“Boyfriends sounds perfect. Now let’s go to sleep, I’m actually fucking tired.”

Hongjoong hums, rolling across the gap between his and Seonghwa’s beds to tuck himself into the curve of Seonghwa’s body. Or at least, he tries to roll across the gap, forgetting that there is actually a gap there, and simply falls between the beds and hits the floor with a very loud noise that sounds worse than the actual pain Hongjoong must be feeling probably is. Seonghwa hears Hongjoong hiss, “Ow, fuck,” but after a few seconds, Seonghwa feels cool air hit his skin and Hongjoong lifts the blankets on Seonghwa’s bed to slip under them himself and curl up next to Seonghwa. “Yeah, that’s better. Night, Hwa.” Seonghwa just hums in response, already too close to falling asleep to form actual words for a response, and that’s okay.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this! feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts, they make my day! once again, vote inception, please. https://ateez.vote/i2Nh


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